I did it! I climbed The Great Wall (Chángchéng) and what a feat of endurance it turned out to be. I have also climbed the main mast of the HMAS Leeuwin when it was anchored in the calm waters of Thompson’s Bay at Rottnest Island. All these are physical exertions of the highest order but certainly The Wall climb on a hot, muggy afternoon tested me the most albeit I am in the ‘seniors’ category of age these days and less accustomed to hard play. Actually it was a toss-up as to which was the harder, running the gamut of Wall souvenir sellers prior to reaching the first set of steps or the real climb itself.

There are 4 main accesses to The Great Wall, Mutianyu, Badaling, Jinshanling and Simatai and we chose the Mutianyu as it is the least populated and by some miracle of exploitation it has a Subway eatery at the base! It’s a 3 hour bus and taxi journey to get to it as well. Badaling is the closest to Beijing and therefore the most crowded and Chinese crowds are best avoided if possible at all times. I will assume that the souvenir sellers populate all the access points and I will give these folk my top vote for aggression and hard sell, topping even the worst I came across in the Philippines. You have to almost physically push them aside to keep walking and they have this method whereby they yell out “One dollar!” while holding a bundle of t-shirts which is going to stop the inexperienced in their stride, right? A t-shirt for a dollar is a good deal in anyone’s currency but don’t be fooled – it’s a crowd stopper not a real offer. I had already made up my mind to buy a t-shirt anyway as a memory of climbing The Wall so I was interested – another mistake. We did stop at a couple of stalls to check prices with the warning of the friendliest taxi driver we have ever met still ringing in our ears which was: Don’t pay more than 50RMB for ANYTHING! The t-shirt prices were about 125RMB and I was interested in a hooded sweater as well. The seller said they usually go for 480RMB but because I was special (dunno why?) she would sell it to me for 350RMB. My offer was 50RMB for both. She cursed me in rapid fire Mandarin then pretended to faint but dear readers, in the end, and on the way back so as I didn’t have to carry the goods all the way to the top, I paid 80RMB in total for both the t-shirt and the sweater! ($12.50) Another mistake – I handed her a 100RMB note and had to physically fight her to get the 20RMB change. Jeezuz!

Once past the sellers you had the choice of taking a cable car to the top of The Wall or simply taking the steps with the only other choice being between the route to Tower 8 or Tower 10. We wanted to ascend the highest point so we opted for Tower 10 and if any of you reading this visit China and The Great Wall remember to take Tower 8, it is a lot shorter and you can walk along the wall much easier from Tower 8 to Tower 10 and descend from there. Then again the BEST way down is to purchase toboggan tickets at the entrance and go down that way! Awesome!

The climb up seemed interminable but the way the steps are set into the mountainside and with the trees and bushes and shrubs that surround you it makes it an experience not to be missed. If you have any leg or cardiac problems I wouldn’t recommend this climb and while it might seem a bit wussy to use the cable car, ultimately that gets you to the top without being exhausted and you still get to walk on the top of The Wall which, let’s face it, is what it’s all about. I couldn’t help but think of how they possibly constructed this all those years ago because sure as my bum points to the ground they would not have had beautiful stone steps with stop points along the way as they made and carried the millions of bricks to the top of the mountain!

The brick and mortar work itself is fantastic and the size of the wall is amazing as you see it wind along the top of the mountain range as far as the eye can see! While we were up there we came across a group of people all dressed in white laboratory coats, bare feet, trousers rolled up, doing some sort of act, maybe for a commercial or maybe for a spot on Youku (Chinese YouTube). They had a guy, top half naked, and held him above their heads in a line while somebody took pictures. To this day we have no idea as to what they were doing but they were at it before we arrived on top of The Wall and still going when we left!

Once you’re on top of The Wall there isn’t a lot more to do than walk the length available to you and capture the scenery. Perhaps cast your mind back in time and think about where the guards stood, how they defended against enemies and just how much labour was spent in building the darn thing which, by the way, goes for a few thousand kilometers!! The sheer size of the construction project puts it in the same league as the pyramids I guess although I haven’t been there and being there certainly gives you a better perspective. On top of the wall there were sellers as well would you believe? They were selling cold water and cold beer! I don’t mind a coldie at the best of times but this was not one of those times. Also, being late in the day, almost 4pm, the prices were rock bottom so they can rid themselves of the stock, not have to carry it all back down below. So it was 1RMB for a beer, the same for a water! With my heart rate at 155 beats a minute from the climb the beer was still not an option. My how we age! Back 30 years ago I would have purchased all the stock and sat on The Wall drinking tinnies until closing time sucking in the air and the atmosphere!

The walk back down is challenging on the quads but a doddle compared to the climb and we were in a rush to be able to catch the last bus home after stopping to buy the items we wanted. We were last onto the bus which has seating for 42 passengers and we were passengers 43, 44 and 45. Nobody was getting off before Beijing, the end of the line, so we were destined to stand for the whole trip home, about 3.5 hours! Great!

The bus driver was an idiot. He must have had some timetable to stick to and his driving defied description. It was like he was in a sports car as he weaved in and out of traffic, passed cars on the wrong side of the road going around bends and on hills, laid on the horn and as passengers we were being tossed around like corks in an ocean. His big rush was to get to the bus depot where we stopped for 10 minutes and loaded up with another 20 passengers! In the depot were 8 empty buses but the Chinese way of thinking meant that none of these additional buses were to be deployed as they had only 60 or so passengers to carry to Beijing and the fact that 20 of them were going to have to stand was bad luck. Needless to say we made it safely back to Beijing and so ended another day in China.