Until Recently, I didn't understand how much of this learning experience I had taken for granted and how much I had become jaded. Every inconvenience seemed to be an obstacle and every string of rudeness was added to that yarn ball of cultural generalization that I seemed to hang around my neck. 

 

It was only after a long period of being burnt out-which is very easy to become if you aren't careful- did I realize how jaded I had really become. I had let the wonderment of newness escape from my soul, and I was determined to try to recapture some of the magic that I had once felt.

 

1. Realize that this isn't America

The first thing that I had to realize that this isn't America, and I am sure none of us came to China for the excellent service. Despite China having its faults,which some days feels like many, it is certainly getting better at a record pace. 

 

2. Remember why I came here

The reason I came to China in the first place was to make more Chinese friends and learn the language. Oh, and don't forget the amazing food. So everyday, I try to take steps to accomplish these goals. For example, chatting up with new people, practicing my broken Chinese with the locals, or trying to experience some new ethnic delicacies.

 

3. Stop complaining

I hadn't noticed how much I had been complaining for months and months until my supervisor pointed it out. While sometimes it is important to vent, I found myself complaining about every small little inconvenience, and I was no longer a happy cheerful person that I pride myself to be. I found complaining was also an easy conversation starter among the expat community, but it had the potential to become very toxic: contributing to the downfall of many of my relationships. I was determined to rein in on my whining and became more aware of it. After a while, I found that my heart became a lot lighter and I was a more desirable friend as well.

 

4.  Try to do something interesting

Going along with number two, I try to also set a goal everyday of what I want to accomplish. I try to do something culturally interesting every day, whether it be watch a tv show in the local language or even going bamboo rafting in Yangshuo, all of these moments help to color the black and white picture I can sometimes get after a long stint in the middle kingdom.

 

5. Go traveling

One of the most fun things that I have tried to do is to see different places of China. Contrary to what I previously thought, China is a very diverse place and every nook and cranny is a little (or a lot) different than the place that I have visited before. There are so many places to visit and it really could take a lifetime to go to all of them. However the good news is that I will never have to have a hard time thinking of places to go.

 

6. Get out of China

This may sound counter productive, but after staying in China a bit, sometimes it is helpful to experience other cultures and countries. China may be  the center of attention for much of the world, but after visiting other countries, I feel a lot of wonderment returning to my heart. 

 

7. Treasure the little things

Living in China can be tough. Just getting a visa can be hard sometimes. And the stresses of work........Don't even get me started, but I do believe its the little things that outnumber the big things. Whether its a strangers kindness, the kiss of my lover, the full moon, extremely cheap chuan(er), or a plethora of other delights, I try not to let the happiness that these things  slip under the weight of a small number of stressful issues.

 

After about six months, I noticed that I have become a more confident, and am even happier than before. I try not to let the cultural and everyday stresses of living in China get me down. Sometimes it can be very overwhelming, and I can easily find myself in a situation that robs me of my comfort. But, in the end, its a choice I have to make. 

 

If you would like to read more of my articles, find my blog at xiaoxionginchina.tumblr.com