Hello all.  I am coming on here out of desperation.  I am desperate for help and support, and advice too.

I met a girl - a fantastic wonderful girl who I love so much.  I want her as my wife.  She knows this, and she accepted albeit I haven't officially asked her yet, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I have a problem, and so does she, and it's possibly resulted in me losing her for good.

I have an ex-wife who is Chinese, and a son with her.  In the divorce agreement, I stupidly agreed to pay 50% of my teaching salary to my son's upkeep.  This is stupid because; what do I live on?

Also, it has caused my girlfriend, and future wife, if she can accept, to leave me tonight.  This is because she can't accept that I have a son, and she is frightened that we will have difficulties in future, even if I successfully renegotiate my divorce agreement which I would say is possible.

Trouble is, I love her so much.  You might think I should give up, and if you still think this, please say.  Trouble is, I love her so much, and she loves me to.  She says this hurts her.  She says I have hurt her. 

The reason why though is because she says she wants a simple life.  Also, what's more, people close to her are trying to drive us apart by telling her how bad life will be if we are together etc.  Tbh, I put it down to Chinese narrow-mindedness.  Sorry if this strikes a chord with some, but many Chinese still can't accept that some marriages fail etc, and that life is perfect.

Now, I know where she lives and works, and I would like to go to her work and plead with her, but I don't want to drive her away even more.

I want to win her back.

One good thing is that I have an interview for a very good job on Friday - through a friend, and I am thinking of asking them for help with this (It could work due to our friendship).  However, I want to hear your thoughts.

I am hurting deeply.  I am wounded.  I am very sad and upset.  I lost my son because my situation here has not been good since I returned for the fourth year in September, in part due to the new visa regulations, and now I have lost someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

I need help to win her back.  Please help me do it.

Thank you.

Carl