And if you don't have any expectations about quality social interations with locals, then you won't be disappointed. Maybe it's because I don't feel a need to fit in. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy company from time to time, and a stimulating conversation is very uplifting. But I found that it's not just language barriers that pose a problem, here: The locals don't seem to talk about interesting things.

I guess I'm lucky that I have less of a social need than most people do. What others experience as social isolation, I enjoy as free time to play an immersive computer game, or watch my favourite TV series from back home again (three cheers for external harddisks playable on TV!). If you need to be with friends, and need the linguistic complexities of social life, then China is not for you. Back home, I didn't really relate to the interests of middle class Dutch; I care nothing about the rich and famous, cars, iPhones, fashion or sports. Here, I can safely say that people are even LESS interesting than back home, and discussing topics like politics or morality will make you no friends, and might even get you into trouble too. So, I can retreat into my personal entertainment hub on weekdays, confident that outside there is nothing but slack-jawed gawking, danger and monotony. For an intellectual outlet, internet serves as a relatively safe place to speak my mind. Back home in Holland, I'd have a creeping guilt that I was isolating myself, and should probably look up family soon. But here, I have a lovely 8-month old son, and I get to spend 3 nights a week in the county with my new family, while still having designated me-time in the city during workdays. My beautiful baby boy does give me that creeping feeling of guilt, though. I really should spend more time caring for him. If I could, I would, but my job keeps me in the City 5 days a week. Perhaps I'm one of the few people who eventually adapted to everyday life, although the teaching work seems very hollow and pointless. But that's another story.